currently

completing their PhD at the Stanford AI Lab,
supported by the Open Philanthropy AI Fellowship
+ the PD Soros Fellowship for New Americans.

I wrote this poem for south asian womxn

My back pressed into the dark fitted sheet over my twin extra long mattress
I’d touch myself
and dream
of ziplining

dependent on silver cable and gravity
falling and rising and falling over forest canopy
my stomach repeatedly falling out from under me
and when I told the latest love of my life
he said
“you’re cute”
and I folded up that fantasy
whispering I’m so sorry I gifted you away

now when I touch myself
I dream dreams I will never tell anybody
and anybody if only you knew
because these liplocked dreams are
wild with blue
they taste like biting into a peach
pleasure dribbling down your chin
they speak like a primal scream
all release and no apology

Do you remember when the magic school bus fieldtripped into the human body?
when ms. Frizzle shrunk that yellow bus
down to a speck of dust
and navigated into somebody?
when I touch myself
I dream dreams I will never tell anybody
but
if I were telling you
I’d begin with two mes
In my dreams, I am the speck of dust schoolbus and I am the mountain of a human
but when I open my mouth
like blue baby krishna
the whole universe is inside
as if all the blue sky dust I’ve inhaled in my life
has explosioned into stars speckled across the inside of my skin
and there is only falling
falling into
new stars stamped on lung tissue
birthing themselves into light
falling into
old stars between my hip bones
releasing into their own pull
and sometimes every light speck in that universe blossoms into
roses sweet from Andhra rooftops
and they bloom into all my empty spaces
and the view through my eyes
gives way to a view of my own love
my own loves
she who held me, she who hurt me, and me, all flying by like strokes of color
and if I can release into these rhythms of gravitation and blooms and sweeping light
rivers of gold luminescence emerge and expand until they are
everything

when I touch myself
I dream dreams
and I say I’ll never tell anybody
but you brown girl are not anybody
and I wonder if enough of us know
that we are allowed to drink our own
divinity